Patience and Faith




This past week I got to spend time at my dad's house, the house that I grew up in and love. Being there makes me happy and at the same time sad and filled with worry. I am sad that I can't keep everything the same as when my mom was there and worried that I am not doing enough to help my dad and sister. While I am there I try to do as much as I can for them, I try to take care of everyone- even more so than when I am not there. I am by nature a caretaker. I work best when I can be taking care of things for others and it makes me feel good. I'm afraid it also drives me crazy. I do not like when I am not in control of a situation or maybe it is more accurate to say that I just want to know what is going to happen. Kevin often looks at me and reminds me to breathe.


I've learned in the past three years and more recently in the last 9 months that I simply cannot plan the things in my life that once upon a time thought I could. I was naive to think so. Life is going to be full of unexpected joys and sadness and no matter how I try most of the big things are going to happen how they may and I need to go with it.


That said- I also need to learn to be patient for the things I once thought I could plan and learned that I cannot. Doesn't it seem that when you want something- it happens to everyone else so easily?


I have faith the things in my life that I cannot have right now will someday be there, now I am working on the patience part. Kevin seems to have enough for the two of us. :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Girl Next Door

Image
My second year of college was not going to be what I had imagined. Come to think of it, my first year wasn't really what I had imagined either, but that's another post. The school I was attending had a "rule" which I saw more as a guideline, that first and second year students needed to live on campus. Entering my first year of college I was assigned to an all girls dorm and matched to live with a girl from Fairbault, MN (Which, by the way is pronounced FAIR BOW... I was reminded a time or two). By the end of the first few weeks I had met a small handful of friends and before Christmas break we had talked about plans to room together that next year. Christmas break came and past and upon my return from home, was informed that I would need to find a new second year roommate. Well crap. I didn't have enough friends on campus to find a new on-campus living arrangement. I ended the year sweating the situation and picturing myself commuting from my parents home every
Read more

KARE 11, Are You Hiring?

Image
A few months ago my husband and I had some rare one on one conversation time as we traveled to a friend's wedding in St. Cloud. During the car ride topics bounced from the boys to whatever was on the radio, back to the boys, to an upcoming trip he would be taking for work, back to the boys and so on. My husband has been with the same company since graduating college, a rare feat these days I think considering that some of our friends have been with a handful of different companies in that same time. He loves his career! It challenges him, it makes him think, it is rewarding and he has opportunities to grow in his profession. When on the topic of his trip, I mentioned how proud I was of him and kind of nervously laughed and said I was jealous of him and all he's done. He responded by asking if I wished I were still working outside the home. My knee jerk reaction was no! I love being at home with our boys, even though most days I feel like I may lose my mind either from sensory o
Read more

Beauty Queen to BoyMom

Image
I remember very vividly walking through the Pamida parking lot near my hometown, talking to my mom in the way only a 5 year old girl can, “When I grow up and I’m a mom I’m only going to have girls.” My mom (also the mother of two little boys) smiled and said “little boys are really nice too you know.” But I was certain I would have two or three little girls just like me; in love with sparkles and the color pink,  attending dance classes and girl scout meetings, searching the aisles for the newest Barbie and someday maybe even competing in pageants like I did.  Fast forward twenty some years to the birth of my husband and my first child, a healthy, red headed, nearly 9lb BOY.  Cooper Day 1 Parker Day 1 Jump ahead another two years to when we would meet our second child, a healthy, red headed, nearly 9lb BOY. Are you seeing a pattern here...? Another three years later we found ourselves in the delivery room where my husband would once again look over at me to announce th
Read more