In the past three years I've experienced a number of losses- each of them equally devastating. I know that everyone experiences grief in different ways and "deals with" their loss in their own way. That still doesn't stop me from wanting to figure out how I can help my sister in law. How can I take away or shelter her from the pain, anger, confusion, etc that she will forever feel. The saddness that she feels from Kurt's death won't go away and I think that's ok. The hurt that we feel is a badge of the love that we share with those that we have lost. The pain will change and won't weigh on her mind someday but I doubt there will be a day that Kurt isn't thought of or missed.
It is hard to understand what happened last week. I suppose its not my our job to understand but to trust that things and us will be ok.
Right now it just hurts.
The Next Place
By Warren Hanson
The next place that I go Will be as peaceful and familiar As a sleepy summer Sunday
And a sweet, untroubled mind.
And yet . . . It won't be anything like any place I've ever been. . . Or seen. . . or even dreamed of
In the place I leave behind.
I won't know where I'm going,And I won't know where I've been
As I tumble through the alwaysAnd look back toward the when.
I'll glide beyond the rainbows. I'll drift above the sky.
I'll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why. I won't remember getting there. Somehow I'll just arrive. But I'll know that I belong there
And will feel much more alive Than I have ever felt before. I will be absolutely free of the things that I held onto That were holding onto me.

The next place that I go Will be so quiet and so still That the whispered song of sweet belonging will rise up to fill The listening sky with joyful silence,
And with unheard harmoniesOf music made by no one playing, Like a hush upon breeze.There will be no room for darkness in that place of living light, Where an ever-dawning morning pushes back the dying night. The very air will fill with brilliance, as the brightly shining sun And the moon and half a million stars are married into one.
The next place that I go Won't really be a place at all. There won't be any seasons -- Winter, summer, spring or fall -- Nor a Monday, Nor a Friday, Nor December, Nor July.
And the seconds will be standing still. . . While hours hurry by.
I will not be a boy or girl, A woman or man. I'll simply be just, simply, me. No worse or better than.My skin will not be dark or light.I won't be fat or tall.
The body I once lived in Won't be part of me at all. I will finally be perfect. I will be without a flaw.
I will never make one more mistake, Or break the smallest law. And the me that was impatient, Or was angry, or unkind, Will simply be a memory. The me I left behind. I will travel empty-handed.
There is not a single thingI have collected in my life That I would ever want to bring Except. . .
The love of those who loved me, And the warmth of those who cared. The happiness and memories And magic that we shared. Though I will know the joy of solitude. . .I'll never be alone.
I'll be embraced By all the family and friends I've ever known. Although I might not see their faces, All our hearts will beat as one, And the circle of our spirits Will shine brighter than the sun.
I will cherish all the friendship I was fortunate to find, All love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind. All these good things will go with me. They will make my spirit glow. And that light will shine forever In the next place that I go.


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