Mommy Judging

I guess I should be used to being "judged" since I competed in pageants for so many years. Or maybe I could "blame" them for ever judging other women and the ways they did things. But now, finding myself in SO many situations that I once never pictured myself in (changing a diaper in a parking lot in the back of a mini van for instance), I am becoming so nonjudgmental and accepting. My husband will tell you that I always was and that I could not change or save everyone from themselves :).

I once thought that was a right way to parent (I still think that to some degree there is, but that's mainly parenting with your child's best interest and well being in mind...) and that someday I would be a parent that did things the right way. How could "those" moms let their kids run away from them in the store. How could she let her little boy drive his bike into the street? Why are those parents letting their daughter throw a fit in the grocery store?

Oh, Jacquelyn- how good you had it..;-)

Parker was born and a year later Cooper turned 3.

I will tell you that I have the most wonderful children in the entire world and that I wouldn't change a thing about either of them. In that same breath I will also tell you that these two boys sure know how to give me a run for my money. I have refused to limit our adventures to our own backyard even though I am now the mom who is chasing one boy while the other one tosses everything out or either the cart or the diaper bag. I am the mom who literally just yelled down the hallway that I don't want to hear another peep until after nap time. (This came after three or four excuses of why someone needed to get up out of bed and me threatening to not take him to see If You Give a Mouse a Cookie tonight).
For me, I couldn't appreciate what other moms were struggling with until I too was thrown into those same battles. I call my dad just to be reminded that I too did this to my parents and that I really do need to discipline them, that they may cry but they know what they're doing when they shed those tears.

I have an extremely vivid memory and can recall being a naughty little girl sometimes. I remember my mom crying when I emerged from my bedroom closet, scissors in hand and my half-way-down-the-back hair now cut up to my chin. I remember being a bit older and locking my grandparents in the porch as I tossed my grandmother's potpourri around the room as if I were a flower girl in a pretend wedding. When my boys act out in these same ways I smile and think how much better I understand my parents and more specifically my mom. The reasons she was the way she was. We really do become our parents, don't we.

At the end of the day, I think most of us are really just trying our best. When you see that mom struggling with her kids in the grocery line and the only relief she can find is by handing over her phone to let Angry Birds do the entertaining so she can get home and then cook a meal for them that they will no doubt scoff at- give her the "I've been there too" look rather then the "are you kidding me? you are totally screwing your kids up" look.


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